As we enter the new year, it’s important to take stock of our finances and what we expect our financial ad relational future to look like this year. Financial fidelity is something anyone at any income level at any stage in a relationship can benefit from. It stems from being honest with your partner about your finances. Sounds simple enough, right? Basic relationship 101? It may SEEM simple, but if that were truly the case, finances wouldn’t be one of the leading causes of divorce. The truth is, many couples – no matter how long or short of a time they’ve been together – struggle when it comes to being honest about their money.

What Is Financial Infidelity?

What I call “financial infidelity” (and which I talk about extensively in the book Financial Infidelity) can take on many different forms. It can be as simple and mundane as keeping $20 for yourself when you go to deposit a check or it can be as complicated and public as keeping a woman in every city. The basic idea underlying financial infidelity is that it’s something you’re trying to keep from your significant other. To some, a $20 withdrawal may not be a big deal but if that’s beyond what you’ve discussed in your personal relationship as being over the limit then it’s a form of financial infidelity.

Staying financially faithful can look different at different phases of a relationship. If you haven’t been together for that long, for example, your conversation would be different than a couple who’s been together for years. You might start by doing things like:

• Ask questions about how money has been used in their family: worries, abandonment, shame, blame around money.
• Asking questions like this will eliminate any problems or irreconcilable differences, and is a way to see who is flexible and who is not, in reference to money and power, and struggles over money.
• Do a budget for yourself (if you don’t already have one) to help answer some of these questions for yourself.
• As you move forward in your relationship, have money talks weekly to minimize financial infidelity.

Reward Yourself For Fidelity

A couple who’s been together longer would go more in-depth and be up front about how you and your partner are dealing with money without shame and blame or judgement. Do a budget and if you are a spender you will see how different it is to pay your bills. Give yourself a reward – not money – if you follow this. Spend time at home re-prioritizing, which costs nothing. And again, have money talks weekly to minimize financial infidelity.

I encourage you to find a system that works for you and talk to your partner about money and financial expectations. Here’s to an open, honest and successful 2010!

Related articles:

1. When Should You Talk About Money In Your Relationship?
2. Breaking A Financial Addiction Cycle
3. Don’t Let A Financial Downturn Cause Financial Infidelity in Your Relationship
4. Illusions And Magical Thinking In A Financial World
5. Recession Proof Your Relationship

It’s happened to many of us – our best friend’s girlfriend or boyfriend likes us, and we’re afraid of destroying their relationship. It’s a weird, uncomfortable type of threesome that can really weigh on everyone’s shoulders. What can you do in this sort of situation?

Question: My best friend’s girlfriend has feelings for me, and my best friend knows it but he still loves her anyway. I fear that her liking me is destroying their relationship because they are fighting all the time. I don’t want them to break up because of me, because they make the perfect couple. I need your help – what should I do?

–YouTube Viewer

Click here to view the embedded video.

What Can You Do?

Unfortunately, there is not a single thing you can do about how someone feels about you. You can’t change or stop their feelings, so if she likes you and has feelings for you, there’s nothing you can do to change that. So ask yourself these questions – Are you egging it on? Are you flirting with her and leading her to believe there is something going on between you? Or are you simply just aware that she has feelings for you? Everyone enjoys flirting, and it can be fun when someone likes you, even if you don’t plan on taking it any further than flirting. But in this instance, flirting back with her can be detrimental, no matter if you want to start a relationship with her or not.

It’s Time For A Sit Down

Everyone in this situation needs to have a sit down, heart to heart talk. Everything needs to get out in the open, because feelings that are closeted can only make a situation worse. Sit down with your friends at home, in a comfortable and familiar environment that is not in public. Don’t have this conversation over dinner in a public place! Have a few drinks to relax if you will, but anyone that has too many at this point is simply a ticking time bomb. Let everyone have a chance to speak here, because everyone is involved. Listen to your friend and his girlfriend, and keep an open mind.

Two Choices To Make

If you return your best friend’s girlfriends feelings, it makes the situation a bit more complicated. Both you her have a choice to make in this situation. Each of you must choose the relationship you value the most, and begin to pursue only that relationship. If you value the relationship with your best friend more than you wish to pursue a relationship with his girl, it’s important that you keep her out of your life as much as possible. If you want to try your hand at having a relationship with the girl, it’s time to say goodbye to your best friend. Unfortunately, in this situation, you can’t have your cake and eat it too. There’s no way you can pursue a relationship with her, nor can she pursue a relationship with you, without losing your best friend. Take some time to think about what really matters to you here and what you feel is the most important, because you might need to make a sacrifice that will change your life.

Related articles:

1. I’m In Love With My Best Friend. How Do I Tell Her? (Video)
2. I Dated My Friend and It Didn’t Work Out… How Do We Get Our Friendship Back? (Video)
3. The Easy Way To Get A Girlfriend
4. Is My Girlfriend Using Me Or Is Her Love Real? (Video)
5. Leaving the Friend Zone – How to Actually Ask Her Out On a Date (Video)

It’s happened to many of us – our best friend’s girlfriend or boyfriend likes us, and we’re afraid of destroying their relationship. It’s a weird, uncomfortable type of threesome that can really weigh on everyone’s shoulders. What can you do in this sort of situation?

Question: My best friend’s girlfriend has feelings for me, and my best friend knows it but he still loves her anyway. I fear that her liking me is destroying their relationship because they are fighting all the time. I don’t want them to break up because of me, because they make the perfect couple. I need your help – what should I do?

–YouTube Viewer

Click here to view the embedded video.

What Can You Do?

Unfortunately, there is not a single thing you can do about how someone feels about you. You can’t change or stop their feelings, so if she likes you and has feelings for you, there’s nothing you can do to change that. So ask yourself these questions – Are you egging it on? Are you flirting with her and leading her to believe there is something going on between you? Or are you simply just aware that she has feelings for you? Everyone enjoys flirting, and it can be fun when someone likes you, even if you don’t plan on taking it any further than flirting. But in this instance, flirting back with her can be detrimental, no matter if you want to start a relationship with her or not.

It’s Time For A Sit Down

Everyone in this situation needs to have a sit down, heart to heart talk. Everything needs to get out in the open, because feelings that are closeted can only make a situation worse. Sit down with your friends at home, in a comfortable and familiar environment that is not in public. Don’t have this conversation over dinner in a public place! Have a few drinks to relax if you will, but anyone that has too many at this point is simply a ticking time bomb. Let everyone have a chance to speak here, because everyone is involved. Listen to your friend and his girlfriend, and keep an open mind.

Two Choices To Make

If you return your best friend’s girlfriends feelings, it makes the situation a bit more complicated. Both you her have a choice to make in this situation. Each of you must choose the relationship you value the most, and begin to pursue only that relationship. If you value the relationship with your best friend more than you wish to pursue a relationship with his girl, it’s important that you keep her out of your life as much as possible. If you want to try your hand at having a relationship with the girl, it’s time to say goodbye to your best friend. Unfortunately, in this situation, you can’t have your cake and eat it too. There’s no way you can pursue a relationship with her, nor can she pursue a relationship with you, without losing your best friend. Take some time to think about what really matters to you here and what you feel is the most important, because you might need to make a sacrifice that will change your life.

Related articles:

1. I’m In Love With My Best Friend. How Do I Tell Her? (Video)
2. I Dated My Friend and It Didn’t Work Out… How Do We Get Our Friendship Back? (Video)
3. The Easy Way To Get A Girlfriend
4. Is My Girlfriend Using Me Or Is Her Love Real? (Video)
5. Leaving the Friend Zone – How to Actually Ask Her Out On a Date (Video)

What is the best way to masturbate if you’re a guy? Is there a wrong way to masturbate? You asked, you want to know! Here are some great masturbation tips for guys, but feel free to get creative and make up your own ideas.

Question: I’m curious, what’s the best way to masturbate? (I’m a guy)

–YouTube Viewer

Click here to view the embedded video.

There Is No Wrong Way To Masturbate

 No, there really isn’t a wrong way to masturbate as long as what you’re doing feels good. Very frequent masturbation can cause raw skin, but this usually isn’t too harmful and will go away in a few days when your penis is given a break from all the friction caused by masturbating. In very, very rare cases, frequent and rough masturbation can break the muscle fibers within the penis causing it to become crooked (we’re talking a lot of rough masturbation here). Normal and even daily masturbation won’t hurt you, as long as you’re pleasuring yourself and not causing any kind of pain. If your style of masturbation falls under those categories, have fun and don’t be afraid to be creative and find new ways of giving yourself pleasure! Regular masturbation is a healthy and fun part of every man’s sex life.

Hygeine And Comfort

The important thing when it comes to masturbation is to practice proper hygeine. Wash your hands before and after masturbation and if you use a lot of lubricant or lotion, wash your penis after masturbation as well. Make sure to clean up your ejaculate afterwards too. The best way to stay comfortable during masturbation is to use lots and lots of lubricant! A great, water based lubricant always works better than lotion and it lasts longer too. Find a private place to masturbate where you’re comfortable and can look at your favorite magazine or video for extra arousal. Make sure you’re not going to be disturbed in the process, so you can focus totally on yourself and your pleasure without worrying about someone coming in or getting caught. Lock the door!

Sex Toys For Boys

There are some great sex toys for boys out there that can be used during masturbation that can enhance the sensations and make masturbation even more pleasurable. Masturbation sleeves are excellent, because they’re soft, squishy and many of them even have great little suction cups. Penis pumps and penis rings are also great to use during masturbation as well. Anal plugs and anal beads also work well for masturbation if you enjoy anal play or prostate stimulation. Sex toys for boys work a lot better than homemade male masturbation toys, such as toilet paper rolls and fruits or pies! They feel better too! Of course, make sure to use lube with your toys - they work best when you use lots and lots of it! Just make sure to use proper hygeine after using a sex toy and wash it with special sex toy cleaner or hot, soapy water and dry it before you put it up. Believe it or not, investing in a good sex toy for masturbation can be a lot more satisfying than just using your favorite hand!

Related articles:

1. Q&A: Can Masturbation Cause Weight Gain Or Stunted Growth? (Video)
2. Can I Get STDs From Masturbation? (Video)
3. Does Masturbation Really Cause Blindness? (Video)
4. Can Masturbation Help Prevent Getting Erections At The Wrong Time? (Video)
5. Does Liking Anal Sex With a Strap On Make Me Gay? (Video)

Rejection hurts. We expect it to hurt when a relationship ends, but what about when it’s rejection from a random internet hook up?

It takes a lot of confidence to ask a girl out. Truth is, the only confidence you need to get the girl is self confidence. If you don’t have enough confidence in yourself as a person, you’ll never be comfortable asking a girl out, whether it’s any girl or the girl of your dreams. Can you get enough self confidence to ask a girl out?

Question: How do you get a girl if you don’t have much confidence in yourself? Do you think some one can find somebody if they don’t have any self confidence? How can you gain confidence to ask her out?

–YouTube Viewer

Click here to view the embedded video.

Believing In Yourself

Not having enough self confidence can be bad for you in more ways than just not being comfortable asking a girl out. Not having confidence in yourself will affect your job and your social life too. It’s important to have self confidence for a happy, successful life, in addition to having enough confidence to start dating. So it’s time to build yourself up. Start thinking about the great things about yourself rather than dwelling on all of your mistakes and wrongdoings. We all make mistakes, we’re human. Start figuring out what you like about yourself. Chances are, if you are confident enough to like something about yourself, other people will like it too.

Stop Seeking Outside Approval

People have a bad habit of seeking approval of themselves from others. Whether it’s your boss, your partner, your girlfriend or boyfriend or your spouse, people seek their approval before approving themselves. That’s absolutely backwards! You have to approve of yourself and be comfortable with yourself first before anyone else will approve of you. If you continue seeking outside approval of yourself, you’ll never get it. Start by looking within for self acceptance, so you can start to like yourself and be at peace with yourself. Everything else will fall into place.

Practice Makes Perfect

There’s nothing you have to lose if you ask a girl out and she says no. You’re just right back where you started. Frustrating as it is, it’s not a good reason to be shy and avoid asking girls out. You’ll never be comfortable asking a girl out until you practice doing it first! So maybe you don’t want to practice on the girl, but why not head up a bar or coffee shop and ask a girl out there, just to do it? She might say no, but at least you’ll have gotten some experience asking her out. You can also get over your shyness with girls by hanging out with them. Get to know the female species and what they’re all about. Girls can be difficult to understand, but by hanging out with them, you can get to know what they like and what they don’t like and you’ll get more comfortable just simply being around them. Also, if you’re too shy to ask a girl out, just go up to her and ask a question. Start a conversation. It doesn’t have to end in a date, but if you don’t go up and talk to her, it’s going to end in nothing at all. Girls love to talk and have conversations, especially if you’re the one asking her questions.

Related articles:

1. Build Self Confidence And Get The Girl
2. How to Get Over Shyness & Fear of Rejection to Get the Girl (Video)
3. How To Ask A Shy Girl Out On A Date… (Video)
4. How To Love A Daddy’s Girl
5. Is Shyness Keeping You From the Girl of Your Dreams?

It takes a lot of confidence to ask a girl out. Truth is, the only confidence you need to get the girl is self confidence. If you don’t have enough confidence in yourself as a person, you’ll never be comfortable asking a girl out, whether it’s any girl or the girl of your dreams. Can you get enough self confidence to ask a girl out?

Question: How do you get a girl if you don’t have much confidence in yourself? Do you think some one can find somebody if they don’t have any self confidence? How can you gain confidence to ask her out?

–YouTube Viewer

Click here to view the embedded video.

Believing In Yourself

Not having enough self confidence can be bad for you in more ways than just not being comfortable asking a girl out. Not having confidence in yourself will affect your job and your social life too. It’s important to have self confidence for a happy, successful life, in addition to having enough confidence to start dating. So it’s time to build yourself up. Start thinking about the great things about yourself rather than dwelling on all of your mistakes and wrongdoings. We all make mistakes, we’re human. Start figuring out what you like about yourself. Chances are, if you are confident enough to like something about yourself, other people will like it too.

Stop Seeking Outside Approval

People have a bad habit of seeking approval of themselves from others. Whether it’s your boss, your partner, your girlfriend or boyfriend or your spouse, people seek their approval before approving themselves. That’s absolutely backwards! You have to approve of yourself and be comfortable with yourself first before anyone else will approve of you. If you continue seeking outside approval of yourself, you’ll never get it. Start by looking within for self acceptance, so you can start to like yourself and be at peace with yourself. Everything else will fall into place.

Practice Makes Perfect

There’s nothing you have to lose if you ask a girl out and she says no. You’re just right back where you started. Frustrating as it is, it’s not a good reason to be shy and avoid asking girls out. You’ll never be comfortable asking a girl out until you practice doing it first! So maybe you don’t want to practice on the girl, but why not head up a bar or coffee shop and ask a girl out there, just to do it? She might say no, but at least you’ll have gotten some experience asking her out. You can also get over your shyness with girls by hanging out with them. Get to know the female species and what they’re all about. Girls can be difficult to understand, but by hanging out with them, you can get to know what they like and what they don’t like and you’ll get more comfortable just simply being around them. Also, if you’re too shy to ask a girl out, just go up to her and ask a question. Start a conversation. It doesn’t have to end in a date, but if you don’t go up and talk to her, it’s going to end in nothing at all. Girls love to talk and have conversations, especially if you’re the one asking her questions.

Related articles:

1. Build Self Confidence And Get The Girl
2. How To Love A Daddy’s Girl
3. Is Shyness Keeping You From the Girl of Your Dreams?
4. How to Get Over Shyness & Fear of Rejection to Get the Girl (Video)
5. How To Ask A Shy Girl Out On A Date… (Video)

He said, “I need to make you happy to even have a shot at being happy.” The words are spoken by Ben Affleck to Jennifer Aniston in the movie He’s Just Not That Into You. For me, it is the second best scene in the movie after the scene where Jennifer tells Ben she wants him back – that in their life together, unmarried, he is more of a husband to her than any of the so-called “husbands” her sisters have.

Ben’s statement, however, hides a priceless piece of relationship advice. When a man loves a woman, he longs to make her happy. In the beginning of the relationship, this can be sweetly evident. It’s like there aren’t enough thoughtful things he can do for her! From opening doors to paying attention to her favorite foods so he can order for her to running interference on her behalf, he just wants to make her happy and it is as if his happiness depends on it.

His Happiness Depends On Your Happiness

His happiness does depend on it and this is why as time goes by, his attempts to make her happy can cause frustration for them both. The better they get to know each other, the more complicated it becomes for him to make her happy and the harder she makes it for him to make her happy. How does this happen? How does a couple go from, “He’s so sweet and thoughtful,” to “He’s driving me crazy?” Let me paint a picture from my own life to answer that question that any reader, male or female, will likely recognize.

Recently, my husband, Joseph, and I had lunch with some friends who kind of make me nutty. It’s just a personality conflict. However, these friends are only in my life because of him. They were his friends first. Whenever we see them, once he and I are alone together again, I invariably have to process the interactions that took place between them and me. As the years have gone by, I have learned to process my feelings about these interactions using “I” statements. So, I make my problems with them as much about me and as little about them as possible. Truly, because it is just a personality conflict and nothing personal, my issues are all about me, not them. So using “I” statements is the adult, responsible thing to do.

Processing Interactions

Years ago, before I was so mature, my processing events with these folks could result in an argument between Joseph and me. Invariably, I would feel as though I’d backed him into a corner where he had to choose between them and me; and then I’d be furious because in his defense of them I would feel tossed aside. Now that I use “I” statements, we don’t have those arguments. But the other day I realized I was talking and talking and talking out my process while he was remaining very quiet yet on the verge of laughing.

Finally, I squealed, “Why are you laughing at me?” He said, “I’m not laughing at you! I’m processing your process!” And I realized something important. Even with all the “I” statements, the fact that I always have to process these particular friends makes Joseph feel responsible for my happiness. Because he brought them into my life and because I’m not comfortable with them, to the point of having to process interactions, he feels as though he’s failed me. He needs to make me happy to even have a shot at being happy.

I used to think that men needed their women to like and respect all their friends and family in order to feel respected themselves. It was one of those this-is-how-you-protect-his-fragile-male-ego thing. Wow. I haven’t thought like that in so long that the sentence makes me want to gag! Yuck! I hate that manipulative way of perceiving men.

Let Him Make You Happy

That isn’t what’s going on. If his ego smarts at all when she disrespects his friends or family, it is because he’s stuck between a rock and hard place in his efforts to make her happy. He cannot give up all his friends and family who make her uncomfortable. That isn’t fair. At the same time, he cannot abide being responsible for her unhappiness. If his friends or family make her unhappy, he takes it on as his fault. And so, arguments ensue. If he can’t make her happy, maybe he can fix what’s wrong with her so that she can be happy. We all know that leads to even more conflict!

The answer to the problem: How does a couple go from, “He’s so sweet and thoughtful,” to “He’s driving me crazy!” is for both to realize what’s going on and just settle down. Making “I” statements settles down the energy. For instance, “I know it’s my problem and I feel badly about it but after awhile with them, I’ve just had enough.” “Me too! I’m the one who ended the evening early.” And then let it go. At this point, you’re on the same page. The energy is settling down. Continuing to run down the friends who make you nuts will only inflame it and risk an unnecessary argument.

So back to Ben’s hidden advice. He wants to make her happy. He really, really wants to make her happy. If she can accept the compliment, trusting his intention, appreciating his attempts and if he can understand that the longer they know each other the bigger a challenge it is to anticipate what will make her happy; then, they can learn how to communicate with each other so that his attempts to take care of her in this way are happily received by her, stoking the fire of their love.

Related articles:

1. Do You Know The #1 Secret To A Truly Happy Relationship? (Video)
2. Happy Relationships: How To Replace Fear And Doubt With Gratitude, Love and Trust
3. 10 Romantic Tips to Make Any Woman Happy
4. How Men Can Create Healthy And Happy Relationships
5. Why Do Happy Couples Suddenly Fall Out Of Love?

Fact or Myth: Married couples have 25% to 300% MORE sex than their single counterparts depending on age.

Believe it or not – that’s a fact! Contrary to popular belief, married couples actually have quite a bit of sex! So why are all the married couples trying to improve their sex lives? That’s because it’s about quality, not quantity. Married couples often have less satisfying sex than their single counterparts because things simply get boring. Here’s how to make all that married sex count!

• Make Time For Great Sex. Sure, you’ve heard it before. You might be thinking, “Not bloody likely!” But with the every day demands that we face, such as work and children, sex with our spouses often gets put on the back burner. Well, you’re going to have to make time for sex if you want a better, more satisfying sex life. And not a quickie – chances are, that’s what you’re already doing. Make time for good sex.
• Resolve Your Conflicts. Every married couple has conflicts. But when you and your spouse argue outside the bedroom, those feelings of anger, hurt and frustration often get carried into the bedroom. These feelings can affect your sex life in numerous significant ways. Spouses who have regular conflicts with each other don’t feel as emotionally close to their partners, making it difficult to totally open yourself to great sex. Resolving your conflicts with each other before getting busy can help you to feel emotionally and physically open to your partner, often resulting in mind blowing sex!
• Exercise Together. Exercise is a great boost for the libido, and exercising together? Even better. Not only do you get to spend time with your spouse that you ordinarly may not have been able to do, you also get to see them all hot and sweaty…well, you get the picture. In addition to the sexy, sweaty fun, exercising regularly (and eating a healthy, nutritious diet) will help keep you fit and attractive to your spouse. 
• Flirt With Each Other. Remember when you and your spouse first started dating? There was lots of flirting going on, and neither you nor your partner were sure what was going to happen next. That fun, exciting feeling of having no idea of their next move often gets lost when you get married, mainly because you know exactly what is going to happen next. You can improve your sex life by bringing that flirty, fun feeling back into your relationship. Go to a bar with your spouse and exchange some witty banter and see where it heads.
• Be Completely Spontaneous. For the same reason flirting can often revv up the quality of sex in a marriage, so can a healthy level of spontaneity. Instead of going home for the night, just keep driving and see where it leads you. Surprise your spouse with a hot hotel room for the weekend, or wear a new, sexy pair of undies. If you usually wear boxers or panties, try wearing a string bikini or a thong. It doesn’t matter what you do, just be creative and break out of the norm. Surprise your partner with something totally unexpected, even if it’s something small.

Rather than avoid her till she goes away, be a man and use these 7 breakup tips to maintain your dignity.